After years of walking alongside others as a spiritual director and supervisor, one principle has become clear: the most fruitful sessions happen when we follow feelings, not just exchange information.
Feelings are like an open road. They carry us on with energy, charge, and movement. Whether it’s joy or grief, shame or relief, emotions invite us into something deeper. They beckon us toward the sacred territory of the soul.
Information, on the other hand, often keeps us circling as if caught in a looking for a spot in a parking lot. It gives context—who said what, what happened at work, what’s frustrating today. It’s useful, even necessary, to share information. But if we’re not careful, we get stuck on the surface, endlessly looping through facts, never getting out into truly spiritual country or dropping into the deeper work.
Why is it so easy for our clients, and for us, to gravitate toward information? Because it feels safer. Facts and details are controllable, familiar, and less vulnerable. Staying on the surface protects us from the unpredictable depths where feelings live.
But the lifeblood of spiritual direction is in the heart. It’s not about fixing or analyzing—it’s about an experience with feelings and presence. Emotions are how the soul speaks. And if we’re going to companion someone on their soul journey, we must be willing to follow where the feelings lead.
Meet Miriam
Miriam arrives, venting about her job: long hours, a boring routine, and a demanding boss.
I have a choice at this point: stay tangled in details or pause and or gently turn toward what’s underneath.
I ask her to notice what’s beneath her annoyance. There’s extended silence. Her body shifts; tears appear. “I hate leaving my baby at daycare. I feel like I’m abandoning her.”
Of course you do. Now, the door opens and the real work begins.
When emotion stirs—tears, laughter, a long pause, a shift in posture—go there. Gently name it. Stay with it. Let the silence hold space. Trust that what is rising is sacred and filled with potential.
In these holy moments, be willing to set aside the thread of information—the job details, the external events. Grab hold of the thread that leads inward, to the vulnerable truth. That’s the sacred context of spiritual direction, and the gift you offer to the sacred human being before you.
We’re here to companion people like Miriam through the tender terrain of guilt, fear, longing, and hope. Emotions are our compass. They show us where love wants to heal and truth wants to emerge.
So trust the energy of emotion. Let it be the open road that leads to discovery. There’s no substitute. That’s where the sacred work of spiritual direction truly begins.