"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
This powerhouse of a prayer—attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr—has made a remarkable difference in the lives of so many. And it can make a big difference when it is used as a compass for our sacred work.
My hunch is that most spiritual directors understand the first line of this prayer. In working with many in the training process, it’s rare to meet someone who is overly controlling of their clients.
It’s the second line that holds untapped potential in the spiritual direction space. I’ve long made the case that spiritual directors in general lean too far into passivity. And, of course, our work is not to control or try to change people.
However, we can make a difference in people’s lives as active agents, and we are often guided in that direction by the Spirit through nudges, intuitions, or a sudden clarity. This is where we muster up our courage to speak, to ask, or to offer an insight that might open a new path for someone.
Our courage to invite change can make all the difference. It’s the courage to name what we sense, to pose a question that may feel risky, to highlight a pattern that has gone unnoticed. And, if we are off the mark, that’s okay. We move on. No harm done.
So I invite you to hold this prayer lightly in your awareness as you companion others on their sacred journeys. Accept what is. Speak when prompted. And trust that the real change agent—the Spirit—is at work in and through it all.