Opening Doors in the Closets of Our Soul
Every so often we clean out a drawer, a closet, or a forgotten corner of the house and discover something surprising. Perhaps it’s an old photograph, a long-lost letter, or a treasure from days gone by. The discovery can be both amusing and revealing - something meaningful has been there all along, quietly waiting to be noticed.
As someone who recently moved, I laughed when I read about a couple downsizing their home. While cleaning out a seldom-used closet, they found six children’s toys still sealed in their packaging. These toys had been Christmas gifts from earlier years that had never been opened or enjoyed.
Unopened gifts. In many ways, we carry unopened gifts within ourselves.
The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung described a part of the psyche called the shadow. The shadow is the dimension of ourselves that remains outside our conscious awareness. It contains traits we dislike, feel embarrassed about, or simply fail to own within ourselves. These qualities may be impulses we’ve rejected, strengths we’ve never claimed, or dreams we’ve hesitated to embrace.
Whatever the reason, these parts of us often end up stored in the back closets of our being, in the subconscious of our soul.
Our shadow often reveals itself through our reactions to others. When we strongly dislike a trait in someone—or sometimes overly admire it—there is a good chance some aspect of that quality lives within our own subconscious. This connection can be thought of as an “energetic cord” that can both connect us to others and draw energy from us.
For example, imagine a coworker or friend who comes across as overly bossy and irritating. That irritation can be a clue. Perhaps we have pushed our own capacity for assertiveness or decisiveness into the shadows. Because we avoid expressing it ourselves, we are especially sensitive when we see it in someone else.
We often judge what we have disowned.
The invitation is not to criticize ourselves but to become curious. Each shadow trait is like an unopened package. When we bring it into awareness and explore it compassionately, two gifts often emerge.
First, shadow traits act as keys. They can point toward deeper wounds, unmet needs, or forgotten capacities. When these areas receive attention and care, they become pathways for healing and growth.
Second, energy is released. The effort it takes to keep parts of ourselves hidden quietly drains our vitality. When we acknowledge these traits, creative energy becomes available again.
Seen this way, the people who irritate us most can become unexpected teachers—almost like personal trainers for the soul. As we become aware of the energetic cords that tie our reactions to them and unplug them, something liberating happens within us. And this inner freedom often makes it far easier to relate to these people in healthier and more balanced ways.
The task, then, is not to eliminate our shadow but to bring light to it. Opening the closets of the soul is less about throwing away imperfections and more about welcoming back neglected parts of ourselves.
When we approach these hidden places with curiosity rather than judgment, something surprising happens. The very traits we once resisted begin to reveal the gifts they carry.
So here is something to consider this week:
What traits most annoy you in others?
What qualities in yourself have you pushed aside or disowned?
Where might one of these hidden traits actually contain a strength waiting to be reclaimed?
These may be unopened gifts waiting patiently in the back closet of your being.
I encourage you to open one with curiosity and compassion. Hold it with curiosity and compassion. As you do, you may discover that what once lived in the shadows is quietly guiding you toward a fuller and freer version of yourself.