Have you ever made mayonnaise? You should. It’s wild. It’s wonderful. Magic happens before your eyes.
When you add oil to the egg and vinegar there is a cosmic flaring forth. The mixture poofs up into this rich and creamy substance that we know to be mayonnaise.
In a strange and funny way, this culinary miracle speaks to what it’s like to be on the spiritual journey - growing from our ego into our essence. Don’t believe me that there could be a spirituality of mayo? Let me explain:
As I’ve mentioned before, I am a big fan of the ego - the awakened ego at least. When the ego develops fully enough, it morphs into our essence. Our ego and essence are connected on a continuum of awareness.
Our ego is simply our sense of self. It’s as big or small as our awareness in any given moment. Our egos can range from narrow and self-absorbed (I got a sliver in my finger; life is so unfair to me!) to wide and generous (I know what it is like to try to manage a child and groceries, I’m going to offer to carry her groceries to her car).
As our self-awareness (ego) expands, it is less concerned with what makes us afraid or insecure and more identified with what gives us life. This is our essence - our true and best self. That real, core part of us that is left after our fears and falsehoods have been quieted.
We experience essence as a confidence, as a quiet, powerful peace that easily becomes a feeling of affinity with other people, animals, places or things. Essence is blossoming when we feel love or appreciation for someone, when we are taken in by a beautiful sunrise, when we have the feeling that it’s all going to be okay.
These are the moments when the magic happens. Essence expands us like oil expands egg and vinegar. It’s a secret ingredient that makes us more alive, more awake, more of our best self. This moment goes by many names: flow, being in the zone, wonder, awe, a sense of the miraculous, grace.
I love how William Butler Yeats captured this experience:
My fiftieth year had come and gone.
I sat, a solitary man,
In a crowded London shop,
An open book and empty cup
On the marble table-top.
While on the shop and street I gazed
My body for a moment blazed,
And twenty minutes, more or less
It seemed, so great my happiness,
That I was blessed, and could bless.
Why does essence matter? Because being aware of ourselves is both a gift and a skill we can cultivate. We can choose our way into essence when we widen our awareness to take in more. Surprisingly, this “more” often is calming and grace-filled. You will know you are in essence when any of the following experiences rises up for you:
You feel a sense of lightness and optimism
Your thinking expands and breaks free from its boxes
You feel drawn to and appreciate what you have
Your sense of what is possible for your life enlarges
Insights and capacities that have been dormant in you are awakened
You feel grateful, humble and confident
You embrace and love yourself and the brilliance that is in you
You embrace and love other people, places and things, and the brilliance that is in them
So, keep an eye out for your essence. It’s always with you, always available to poof up in a moment’s notice. And do try making mayonnaise. Like you, it’s magic!